Monday, July 30, 2007

Heart first OR Head first


Recently in Indonesia, I was in deep discussion with guy EJ (don't mind if i use your initial rite??). The topic was about "To Fall in Love" or "To Create Love".
"To fall in love" refers us as the victim of love. In other word, we're a passive subject when the cupid shoots the arrow and we suddenly feel some special emotion towards someone. I call this first type as "Heart First"
"To create love" means we consciously develop our feelings towards someone. Thus, we act as an active subject. The feelings won't just happen. It'll need processes and time. I call this latter type as "Head First"

I hate to admit that I was the follower of "Heart First" coz EJ pointed so many past evidences (OUCH.. this is when a best friend becomes an enemy). People in this category are more emotional, impulsive and they act based on feelings or intuition. They usually fall in love easily but also fall out of love in the same quick way.. (so might be less loyal..). Once they fall in love, their world will evolve around the person they love.. until they unluckily discover that he/she is not as great as they thought before. Then, reality bites : Take it or leave it.
The downfall of this first group is they fall in love without really thinking whether the person is really good for them or not. Frequently, when they were asked "Why do you like this person?", they simply can't answer. Worse, sometimes they fall in love simply because they're emotionally amused! Can't blame them. If you're not emotional enough, you'll never know the joy of emotional amusement and the bedazzlement of following your heart (and not your head).

The debate is of course because EJ is a firm believer of "Head First". Frequently, this people go for individuals with good credentials and background as dates. They believe that if they date high quality people, it's easier and safer to love. Although not always aiming for HQJs (High Quality Jomblos - ask Indonesians what it means), this group consciously choose persons based on their profile. If the profile fits them well, they will actively create or develop love. They consider things rationally before they get involved emotionally. Sounds ideal huh? Yeah rite. Try it.. and you'll see how difficult it is to convert rational thought into deep emotional feeling called love. Worse, some of this people get trapped in 'rationalized love', a condition where head beats heart, false happy life they'd have..

So, which one's better? Haha.. We have to admit that WE BOTH SUCK IN EACH!!! A toast for that...
Therefore, I invite u who are more successful in either "Heart First" or "Head First" to present your view as comment to this article. Well, I invite u who sucks too haha...


- TANIA -

For my best mate EJ, who's leaving for the Netherlands to study.
Success to u. Remember our pledge about the mountain tops ;) !!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am a follower of 'head first' .. but am not that rational as u mentioned in ur blog. And also I am not that fond of credentials. I do appreciate emotional feelings and have a lot in me even than I am a believer of 'head first'. But sometimes u wont get everything u long for . Although it starts from head.. but in long run heart beats the head. I am not denying the very fact that all individuals are different in thought process and emotional hormones, and at the same time respect ur thoughts even though it is bit different then mine