Tuesday, January 30, 2007

You, Me, and Him/Her


This topic is inspired by an Indonesian song I've been listening this morning. It's about someone (a guy), who supposed to be happily married and live a perfect life, fall in love truely with somebody else. Well, the song said we'll never understand fate but you can never blame love.

I know it's just a song, but this case exists in reality. In Indonesia, young people are expected to get married and have a family after they reach certain age. If they don't, they would get quite annoying social pressure from their surroundings. Then.. some of these young people tend to marry anyone who's available at that time, although they probably were not truely in love. In most cases, they choose the spouses based on rational criteria rather than love. What happens next.. after they got married and (supposedly) live a happy life, suddenly they meet somebody else and fall in love. Silly, but then they're sorry they married too soon. The question now: Should they bury their true love and live the (supposedly) happy life? or Should they pursue the true love and left everything they have now ?

I'm lucky that I'm not married yet so I don't have to face this problem now. And I don't plan to marry a guy just because it's high time for me to get married. I'm a believer of love (haha... I know someone would disagree with this statement.. xixi...).
In anyway, this case would lead to betrayal: either betrayal of true love or betrayal of lifetime commitment. Most people would advise these poor guys/gals to hold on to their marriage. Love struck is probably just an illusion, instant and quickly dissapear. Marriage institution is something real. Well, if I had a friend with this kind of problem, I'd probably say the same thing. But then.. how if this decision causes unhappiness. A real big unhappiness for the guy/gal who has the problem, the spouse, and the third party. Let's just suppose that the love struck is not an illusion but a truely madly deeply love. So the guy/gal would feel very unhappy, which probably would change his/her attitude towards his/her spouse so that the spouse also becomes unhappy. And of course, the 'third party' is also unhappy. Hmm... that'd give a big headache...
Suddenly the matter is not as simple as the song.
Any opinions ?

-Tania-

3 comments:

Vero said...

Hi Tania,

I think love is too precious, so if one of my friend falls in love and if he/she thinks that's serious, I just have one suggestion : go ahead !!!
No matter if she/he is married, marriage institution may be real but it can become a nightmare if you live with someone you don't love anymore or even worst don't respect anymore and betray him/her.
No matter what the others could say, they are not the one who suffer at the idea of living far away from their love and happiness.

So, definitely, go ahead and feel free to love who you want. It's the most beautiful feeling!

awan said...

I would like to suggest what our famous Aa' said "Real love is what comes after marriage, anything other than that is just an illusion" ..

Happiness? I think its just a matter of perception ..

trem said...

Oh dear. It's happening to me at this very instant. Believe me you DON'T wanna be in this situation. I'm sooo ashamed. None of my friends know (for obvious reason). I feel guilty every time I call home. :(