Friday, October 17, 2008

Simple Success Secret

Why some people are successful, but many are not?

For many years, experts had been trying to answer these question through many ways. One particular research actually grouped some very successful people and tried to identify the similarities among them. The result was quite astounding : Success is not determined by talent, breed, or even brain. Moreover.. success can be learnt!
Basically, everyone can easily read or listen to instructions to be successful people. There are hundreds of published success formula. You can easily drop by a bookstore and see hundreds of titles on success recipes. But then.. if it's so easy, why are there only a small bunch of successful people?
Well, the key is not success recipes.. really. You can memorize those recipes by heart, yet success won't come knocking on your door. Coz most people actually know what to do to be successful, but they don't do what they know...
Darn.. that actually knocked my head off. How many times in life, I knew exactly what to do but I didn't do what I knew, simply becoz I was too lazy or procrastinating..
Successful people has one similarity : THEY KNOW WHAT TO DO, AND THEY DO WHAT THEY KNOW...
And that's what makes them different from the rest..

Got it??


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

What would you do under great pressure?

People reacted differently under great pressure. It is said that great pressure would reveal the real side of a person. So, what is the the real you?

Here are the groups of true personality under pressure:

  • The fighters - are those who fight till their last drop, giving their best effort, regardless of the result. Too bad life's not a story book. Some succeed but others do fail. However, satisfaction or disappointment does not directly correlate with the result.

  • The transactioner - are those who set their psychological limit on how much they're willing to give. They would not go further as they feel it's not worth it. Life's full of other options anyway..

  • The quitter - are those who give up once the pressure sinks in. Just face whatever consequences are there. Life couldn't go worse than this anyway..

  • The escapee - are those who runaway whenever pressure is present. Pretend that nothing's wrong and flee. Sorry, this is not for me, I'm outta here..

  • The villain - are those who constantly look for scape goats, blaming other people for the situation. They think they're the victim of someone else's blooper and being forced to be in difficult situation. 80% of their time will be spent on grumbling & cursing.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Aging vs Maturity

Everybody know that aging is not correlated with maturity.

But what is maturity anyway?
I tried to phrase 'maturity' as higher awareness, wisdom and self consciousness. It's a stage where you know exactly to put yourself in any life situation without apparent awkwardness. It's a time when you get a clearer picture on where your life is heading to. It's... mmh... oh well, I can't think of more descriptions. Readers, would you kindly add more?

Aging, on the other hand, is easily measured by number of year between today and the day you were born. Though some people are lucky enough for not having clear sign of aging, you can never change how old you are.

Ideally, people grow more mature as they are aging. But how to make sure of it? Personally, I found it rather difficult. My mid twenties was like heaven on earth.. will I ever be able to leave that soon?


Friday, November 9, 2007

Why is it so difficult to find Mr or Ms Right??

Have u ever asked yourself this question? Have u ever wondered why it seemed quick and easy for others to find their Mr or Ms Right but so hard for you? Don't blame your fate or anything else. The answer lies within you. Maybe it's you who are not ready for Mr or Ms Right!

I don't mean to be intimidating. This case applied to me as well. The search for Mr Right hasn't seemed to end yet, but I learnt why it became so difficult.

I noticed that some friends got married right after college simply because they couldn't live alone. They're not born to be independent, hence they couldn't afford to live alone. Commitment or marriage was not only an option, but more of a must. Note that this applies not only to ladies but also guys. Some guys simply don't know how to take care of themselves.

People who are independent both emotionally and rationally are likely more difficult to find Mr or Ms Right. This simply because they too self sufficient. Nevertheless, being self sufficient doesn't necessarily deter you from finding Mr or Ms Right. It's your attitude towards life that matters.

I observed that those who find it difficult to find Mr and Ms Right are those who still live their life only for themselves, not for others. Somehow, their life only evolves around themselves and we'd notice a veeeery big 'I' there...

So, If you realized that everything is always about 'ME', then that would probably be the answer. You cannot find Mr or Ms Right because you are not ready to live your life for him/her.

Believe me, the state that you're living only for your own self is radiating out from you. Though you said that you're willing to make a commitment, it would just merely be empty words. People can feel what you really are.

I've been living for my own self since the day I was born. I was so blessed in life that I've never been forced to live my life for others, even to consider other people in making my life decisions.

But then again, life loses its meaning if you live it on your own..


Sunday, October 21, 2007

I Love My Computer Coz My Friends Live in It!!

I found this statement as I browse through the Internet to find some images .
Honestly, I couldn't stop laughing.

Two or three years ago I would feel sorry for this person and couldn't help thinking of him/her as a geek.
But now, I think this statement would be valid for even popular people.
I think most of my friends live in my computer too!
I'm more often meeting them online rather than offline.
Bless technology and creativity.

I am a people person, so hanging around friends and meeting new people has never been a problem. But I do notice that some people are less comfortable with it.
Now, virtual spaces gives them access to involve socially without stepping out of their comfort zone. So everyone would have their social life!

One question pops out: Is virtual social life healthy?
For me, no matter how frequent I chatted with my friends thru messengers, I would still miss them. I'm not so comfortable with meeting new people online, I'd prefer get to know them face to face.
To cut it short, virtual space isn't enough to fulfil my need for socialization.
So, though it helped me finding my long lost friends or keeping me in touch with faraway friends, it's still just a mean of communication.

But I know that some people live their life almost entirely online! Whoa..
So, what d u say bout that?


Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Great Life vs Good Life

I came across an interesting question, "What is the biggest enemy of great life?"
The answer was unexpected: it's good life.

People may have misfortune, failure or faulty, but all of them will not stand firmly between them and great life. Why? Because the feeling of misfortune and failing will create dissatisfaction and discontent which will push them ahead.

On the other hand, good life is a silent enemy. Good life is so sedating that people are buoyed with satisfaction. It makes people forget about the great life they could potentially have. Good life is a silent killer to fighting spirit and the willingness to move forward. Simply because people become too afraid to risk what they already have on hand.

I'm not saying that having a good life is bad. It's a choice. Of course, good life is easier to achieve and will not involve higher risk. But good can never be great. And to be great, you need to work harder.

It's your choice now, do you want a good life or a great life?


Monday, July 30, 2007

Heart first OR Head first

Recently in Indonesia, I was in deep discussion with guy EJ (don't mind if i use your initial rite??). The topic was about "To Fall in Love" or "To Create Love".
"To fall in love" refers us as the victim of love. In other word, we're a passive subject when the cupid shoots the arrow and we suddenly feel some special emotion towards someone. I call this first type as "Heart First"
"To create love" means we consciously develop our feelings towards someone. Thus, we act as an active subject. The feelings won't just happen. It'll need processes and time. I call this latter type as "Head First"

I hate to admit that I was the follower of "Heart First" coz EJ pointed so many past evidences (OUCH.. this is when a best friend becomes an enemy). People in this category are more emotional, impulsive and they act based on feelings or intuition. They usually fall in love easily but also fall out of love in the same quick way.. (so might be less loyal..). Once they fall in love, their world will evolve around the person they love.. until they unluckily discover that he/she is not as great as they thought before. Then, reality bites : Take it or leave it.
The downfall of this first group is they fall in love without really thinking whether the person is really good for them or not. Frequently, when they were asked "Why do you like this person?", they simply can't answer. Worse, sometimes they fall in love simply because they're emotionally amused! Can't blame them. If you're not emotional enough, you'll never know the joy of emotional amusement and the bedazzlement of following your heart (and not your head).

The debate is of course because EJ is a firm believer of "Head First". Frequently, this people go for individuals with good credentials and background as dates. They believe that if they date high quality people, it's easier and safer to love. Although not always aiming for HQJs (High Quality Jomblos - ask Indonesians what it means), this group consciously choose persons based on their profile. If the profile fits them well, they will actively create or develop love. They consider things rationally before they get involved emotionally. Sounds ideal huh? Yeah rite. Try it.. and you'll see how difficult it is to convert rational thought into deep emotional feeling called love. Worse, some of this people get trapped in 'rationalized love', a condition where head beats heart, false happy life they'd have..

So, which one's better? Haha.. We have to admit that WE BOTH SUCK IN EACH!!! A toast for that...
Therefore, I invite u who are more successful in either "Heart First" or "Head First" to present your view as comment to this article. Well, I invite u who sucks too haha...


For my best mate EJ, who's leaving for the Netherlands to study.
Success to u. Remember our pledge about the mountain tops ;) !!

Monday, July 2, 2007

Typical Indonesian Youngsters

I've been asked a couple of times, "How are typical Indonesian youngsters like?"
Well.. here's my full answer :

Generally, I classified Indonesian youngsters into 4 types :
Type 1 : Those who are rich and smart
Congratulations, if you belong to this type. It means that you'll have a prosperous life ahead and a big chance to be somebody. You have everything you need as an Indonesian youngster. All you have to do is to make the best of what you got and you'll have 90% chance to succeed.

Type 2 : Those who are rich but not smart
You're such a lucky bastard. Life will be easy as long as u hold on mommy & daddy's money. You can do whatever.. get whatever that can be bought with money. Just dun forget to remind your folks to leave a huge trust fund for u.

Type 3 : Those who are not rich but smart
Well.. you may have a chance to succeed and be somebody, but you'll have to work extra hard. And I mean REALLY REALLY HARD!!! Things won't just fall off from the sky.. u have to earn them!

Type 4 : Those who are not rich and not smart
Well, what should I say.. Hmm.. Have a nice dream and GOOD LUCK!!

How bout myself?
Hmm.. I am not rich and I dunno whether I'm smart enough, but i definitely WORK HARD!


Hope i dun offend anyone

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

English SOS

Indonesians dun generally have good command of English. Hehe... seriously, we don't. Our beloved bahasa is sooo simple, no past-present-future and of course no 'perfect' (whatever that is haha..), very unisex (no he/she.. so we support gender equality, aren't we?), no irregular verbs (just put some prefix or suffix, hmm.. this would be tricky..) and... read it as it's spelled. Want to add some more?? hehe.. be my guess...
That's why, please understand if we don't speak clearly or break all the grammatical rules.
The thing that inspired me to write this was a story I heard from home. Funny one. A guy at the office was suddenly panicked when he read competitor's ad.. It said "WHY BOTHER THE REST?"
Then, he called out few people and said, "Our competitor is teasing on us... THEY SAID WE ARE SLEEPING..". Huh???
Well.. it seemed that he translated the words differently: associated 'bother' with 'brother', which means us as the competitor.. and 'rest' not as remaining, but as relaxing..
Still dun get it? yeah.. me too, I almost fell off my chair when I heard the story. Well, there are other stories like typing "FEASIBILITY STUDY" as "VISIBILITY STUDY"... "TOLL-FREE" as "TOOL-FREE"...(LOL). Sadly... these are stories of highly educated people. U can imagine the rest.
Hehe... I shouldn't make fun of it. Fellow Indonesians, who enjoy their overseas stay like me, please do something for the sake of our people.


The Chilli Philosophy

Almost a year residing in Singapore, there's one simple thing I miss about home : DECENT CHILLI. Hehehe... why? Coz Singaporean chillies, which I believe most of them come from Malaysia, are not hot enough for me.
Speaking of chilli, a simple philosophy crossed my mind. Chilli is small but has distinct taste. For some people, chilli is simply negligible, unimportant, or even avoided. But for some others, it's compulsory, wanted, missed and able to make a big difference. It depends on the people themselves, whether they are accustomed to the presence of chilli or not.
Use this simple analogy for a person with a chilli personality. This person may have little presence, or literary an unimportant person. He or she has a very strong distinct character which is only acceptable for some people, but unacceptable for others. Think of any person around u, there must be some people with this characteristics.. or he/she could probably be us!!
Chilli person is totally loved by people who are accustomed to it. But chilli would have problem with new people. He/she has difficulties to be accepted in new environment. Just because new people are not accustomed to his/her distinct character. This would likely happen when a person enters a totally new culture, especially if he/she still bring his/her own set of culture, which is very distinct. The best solution for chilli to be accepted is to get new people try it, slowly, and let them get accustomed with its presence. But how to get people to try? Probably through people who love chilli. They can encourage other people to get to know chilli better. Well, there's a possibility that they would not like it, but there's a good chance that they would fall in love with it...
Moral of the story? Well... if u happen to identify chilli people around u. Do give her/him a hand to mix with new environment. It's a good thing to do...

- I dun think I'm writing a good material today... -

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Second Life.. for people without First Life??

Second Life is the new buzz of the day. The online game that involves millions of people around the world in a virtual dreamland. Create your avatar, be whatever you like, reborn with the freedom to choose where and who u want to be. Then, build your life from ground zero. Get a new cool identity, socialize, get a job, create a business opportunity, whatever.. forget about all the mortal world constraints.
All you need is to spend a small amount of real dollar to get Linden dollar, the official currency of this virtual world. Voila, you can start a real good (virtual) life.
Some people see this phenomenal game as a good simulation of business world and real life. Coz things that works in the real world would work here as well. Others think this whole notion of second life is a crazy idea. Why would people would spend money on something that doesn't even exist? Moreover, do people who devoted the time, energy and money to get a better life in "SL" would score better in the real life too? Or they're just doing it because their first life was so pathetic that they cannot do anything about it?
In the past, if life were not good, get drunk or get high.. forget everything. Now, get a second life.
I know exactly that (first) life is not easy. But that's the point right? If life were too easy, why do we have to live? Just to hang around and die?
Probably, life is so frightening that people start to create virtual life where they dun have to face a reality.
Today, just for the sake of curiosity, I visited the site and learn what I can do there. But I swear, I dun feel interested at all. I still love my first life. Though it's far from ideal, still it's real...

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

One who failed learns more than one who succeeded

Recently, I heard lots of grievances on failure. Either it's personal life, academic life, or some kind of competitions. Well, I also lost two competitions at the same time last week. One was a prestigious international business plan competition and the other was a silly simulation game in class. Grief? Yeah... but not so serious. I learned to accept failures with dignity quite some time ago, when I started to lost my battles once in a while. Well, that's life... one can't always win, rite?

The most important thing is what one learns from the failure, not the failure itself. And I believe that one who failed learns more than one who succeeded. Why? Because a good contender would try to identify things that went wrong or didn't work out. A good contender would learn the failure factors and do necessary improvements to fix them. Given a second chance, A great contender would win even more victoriously that previous winners.

On the other side, winners tend to drown in euphoria and celebrations. Sometimes they don't even know what makes them succeed, whether it's a good strategy, relentless effort, or just mere luck.

One thing is even better: Winners who learn. Only true champions would learn from their success and even their contenders' failures. Nevertheless, this last kind rarely exists in reality. That's why winners come and go. Moreover, there's always a layer of sky above the sky...


"Accepting failure is most difficult at the first time..."

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The truth about the past

Some idealists said that if u're truly in love with a person, then his/her past would not matter. What matters the most is your future together. Ah.. how love is so beautiful. But, is it true that the past really doesn't matter?

I had a chat with a friend last nite, talking bout my last holiday to Bangkok. There, I went to see the lady boy show and it was marvellous. All the showgirls er.. boys.. were really pretty. Just like perfect girls. Then I popped out one question to my friend: Hey, if u had a girlfriend, and u really fell in love with her and thought that her past wouldn't matter to you... how bout if suddenly she said, "Darling... i want to be honest with u 'bout my past. I used to be a guy..."
Ha ha.. i think this example is a bit too extreme. But now, with the advancement of medical technology, such thing is possible rite?

Well, back to the title. Just think of something that would bother u most. Let's just say, U had a boyfriend/girlfriend who once was a serious drug addict or once been in prison, and he/she revealed it to u after u hv completely truly madly deeply in love with him/her. What would u do? would u still love him/her as before, accept him/her as he/she is? Or would u rethink of your relationship coz probably something he/she had done in the past would happen again in the future?


Friday, February 16, 2007

Bad Hair Cut

Have u ever left a beauty salon or barbershop feeling so wasted coz u just had a really bad hair cut??
Haha... not that I just had a haircut, but I just saw my friend had a terrible haircut which made him look like some kind or veggie or fruit...xixixixi.... (Sorry, bro..).
Since i'm the type who quite care on my own appearance, a bad hair cut is like a bitter pill. I used to cut my hair stylish short for practical reasons, so I have to be very careful in picking hairdresser if I dun want to suddenly look like tomato.
As I'm studying abroad with a whole bunch of international students, we all have to leave our regular hairdresser back home and find a new one here. Results are varied, some are successful in discovering new look that make them look impressive, but some ended as jokes of the day. I still remember that a friend got a 'lawnmower' cut, while the other got the cut that made him look 14 years younger (yeah... he looked 12...hahahaha...).
What's so important with a bad hair cut exactly ? Well, some say it represents our attitude towards small bad things that stick on us annoyingly. Some people (like me) want to get rid of those annoying things as soon as possible, some others just chill and disregard all the comments, while the rest try to hide or cover the damage (in hair cut case is by using accessories: hat, hair band, etc.)
On a larger scale, our attitude toward small sticky problems may be a good estimate on our attitude towards bigger problems in life, although the estimate is not always precise. So, it's not as simple as a bad hair cut, right?

- Tania -
This time I let my hair grow long

Monday, February 12, 2007

Broken Heart

When people speak of broken heart, it's automatically associated with love, separation, rejection, betrayal and so on. While actually broken heart covers much wider aspects, such as life aspiration, achievement, dream, faith, etc. In wide aspect, broken heart is a result of a dream which fails to materialize. Thus, I suppose only those who able to dream will be susceptible to broken heart. But it won't stop us from dreaming, right?
People's reaction to broken heart are very diverse. Some choose to be left alone, weeping their sadness in emptiness. Others search the warmth and protection of other people like friends and family. In some cases, broken heart may lead to irresponsible hazardous actions like suicide or crime.
The most important thing is not how to avoid a broken heart, but how to heal it. Wise people said to mend a broken heart, one must start within oneself, and not by the help of others. We're the only one who know where it hurts. Some people try to avoid the pain, but actually realizing the pain is more effective in the healing process. Feel it and weep, let all the bad emotions fall through. Anyway, a good exercise always involves pain (at least that's what people who try to lose weight say...). I'm not in favor of self worship, but being a narcissist once in a while would be good. The next step is to love ourselves... tell ourselves that we're born in this world for a good reason, and no one can change it. Regain the pride, the passion, the willingness to move on...
Last but not least, get the support from others who care care for us. They're the one who're going to tell us how much we worth for them. Then.. start the whole new life all over again.

I'm a dreamer, but I'm not sure whether I have experienced broken heart...

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

You, Me, and Him/Her

This topic is inspired by an Indonesian song I've been listening this morning. It's about someone (a guy), who supposed to be happily married and live a perfect life, fall in love truely with somebody else. Well, the song said we'll never understand fate but you can never blame love.

I know it's just a song, but this case exists in reality. In Indonesia, young people are expected to get married and have a family after they reach certain age. If they don't, they would get quite annoying social pressure from their surroundings. Then.. some of these young people tend to marry anyone who's available at that time, although they probably were not truely in love. In most cases, they choose the spouses based on rational criteria rather than love. What happens next.. after they got married and (supposedly) live a happy life, suddenly they meet somebody else and fall in love. Silly, but then they're sorry they married too soon. The question now: Should they bury their true love and live the (supposedly) happy life? or Should they pursue the true love and left everything they have now ?

I'm lucky that I'm not married yet so I don't have to face this problem now. And I don't plan to marry a guy just because it's high time for me to get married. I'm a believer of love (haha... I know someone would disagree with this statement.. xixi...).
In anyway, this case would lead to betrayal: either betrayal of true love or betrayal of lifetime commitment. Most people would advise these poor guys/gals to hold on to their marriage. Love struck is probably just an illusion, instant and quickly dissapear. Marriage institution is something real. Well, if I had a friend with this kind of problem, I'd probably say the same thing. But then.. how if this decision causes unhappiness. A real big unhappiness for the guy/gal who has the problem, the spouse, and the third party. Let's just suppose that the love struck is not an illusion but a truely madly deeply love. So the guy/gal would feel very unhappy, which probably would change his/her attitude towards his/her spouse so that the spouse also becomes unhappy. And of course, the 'third party' is also unhappy. Hmm... that'd give a big headache...
Suddenly the matter is not as simple as the song.
Any opinions ?


Sunday, January 28, 2007

Beauty is only skin deep

We all know the show called 'The Swan' right? It's amazing that women would endure such pain and torment to be beautiful. Well, though I know I'm not beautiful, I don't think I would torture myself like that..
What is beauty, essentially? I think it's just a perception which people built for ages along with culture and civilization. It's proven by the facts that beauty standards across places around the world are different. For example, in some regions, people consider fair skin as beautiful, but in some others, dark skin is considered more attractive. And not only across regions, each person has different standard which is relatively different from each other.
As globalization and commercialization grew rapidly, people around the world were trapped by the standard of beauty offered by global industry through products, publications, advertisement, entertainment, etc. Then suddenly, the definition of beauty narrowed into a stereotype of skinny figure, big boobs, long legs, bouncy hair, toned skin, and all those attributes appeared on the fashion catwalk, movie posters, and magz cover. Variations and diversity, which are supposed to enrich the meaning of beauty, abruptly considered as deviance from the beauty 'standard'. More and more teenagers suffered from bulimia, anorexia and other disorders just to have that dream skinny body. Plastic surgery, facelift, botox, transplant... women conciously (and pay so much too) to be torn by surgeon knife. So much suffering..

All just to satisfy a mindset of beauty which has been stereotyped by commercialization. Bullied by the thought that beauty is only skin deep.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

A Walk to Remember : A Film About Love Worth Seeing

At first I was skeptical bout this movie. Starring a candy pop superstar and an ex-boy-band hot chunk ? Ough, pleeze... But then, as I watched the movie... it's hard not to fall in love with it. Mandy Moore and Shane West's acts as small town teens Jamie Sullivan and Landon Carter were not too bad. As leading roles, they were able to arouse my emotion through the simple-and-not-too-overwhelming scenes. The other actors, especially Peter Coyote, starring as Jamie's father, were natural and upstanding. Perfecting the scenes as the story went by.

It's a story bout two teens. One was a hot popular chunk with hidden anger, searching for self identity. The other was a simple plain girl, low self image and secretive, but has tremendous desire to live. Been at the same schools since kindergarten, but never as friends, they bumped into each other as Landon got himself into trouble and obliged to tutor young student for social work. A reverend daughter and experienced tutoring young children, Jamie was asked for help. She agreed with one condition : don't fall in love with her, and Landon said it's not a problem. Well, obviously and expectedly, they fell in love with each other. Problem arouse as Jamie secretly had leukemia, and wouldn't live long. This part was typical sad-romance movies, but trust me, it's somewhat different from others. Dunno what made it so, but it was brilliant.

There's two scenes that flopped my heart :First, Jamie said one of her dream was to be in two places at one time. Landon crazily drove her out of town and pushed her stand on the street. It was the state border, each of Jamie legs was standing in different state : she was in two places at one time. Second, after Jamie's funeral. Landon said to Reverend Sullivan, "She never had her miracle...". Sullivan answered, "No, she had it. It was you..." I would recommend this movie to all girls and also guys. This is a story about true love and a lesson of life.Moreover, it taught us how to show love.

Love is like the wind. You cannot see it but you can always feel it.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I (Love/Hate) My Boss ?

Boss. You can't deny that it's part of our life. I used to spend like 10 hours a day sitting a couple of meters away from my boss. And I'm sure a lot of people do the same thing. So, it's really good if you can get along with your boss. But if your boss is such a pain ?? Urgh...!

Though Dillbert cartoons showed a stupid, arrogant and incompetent boss figure, the real life situation is probably not as awful. Our bosses should possess certain kind of quality and experience to be in higher rank, right? (Or am I wrong ?... xixixi...). So, the question is whether we can get along with our boss or not.

I used to have a very good boss. In fact, she was my inspiration, made me want to be a boss like her someday. Then, she was transferred and I got a new boss. My new boss, A guy, had different style of leadership (I prefer to call it 'boss-ship', but couldn't find it in the dictionary haha...). It took time to get used to and my co-workers were having difficulties too. We could finally get along though we often had so much misconception.

Some people had really difficult time with their boss, which caused them to leave their jobs. I onec read an article in the internet about why brilliant employees leave good companies although they were given high salary and good career prospect. The answer is they left because of their immediate superior or boss.

My friend was really nervous at her first day of work as a manager. She had a not-so-good relationship with her ex-boss before, so she was afraid that she'd become a bad boss for her subordinate. So, it's not only the subordinates who are nervous with a new boss, their bosses would probably also feeling the same thing. It's almost similar to if a guy and a girl meet for the first time in a dating setup. The first meeting would give the first and basic impression. The good thing on dating is that both party are free to decide whether they would go on a second date or not. But, boss & subordinate? Hmmm... I don't think it's going to be that simple.

How's your experience ?


Monday, January 22, 2007

Trapped in the corporate comfort zone?

"I wanna be an entrepreneur." That's what I said a couple years ago when I was in early years of undergrad. Yeah right, and see what came next ? I had no gut to become one as I graduated and ended up in corporate 'slavery' at the mercy of capitalist. (wow... harsh comment right?)

That's why I admire people who stayed with their idealism and took the chance to become an entrepreneur. Some became successful, some didn't and ended up like me.. a 'corporate slave'. Well, there's nothing bad about being an employee, really. You can learn so much from these big corporations. Your intellectual capability will be continuously challenged. And the hefty amount of payment for some people was simply irresistable. Above all, the highest temptation of corporate world is the safety, called comfort zone.

I don't mean to say that working for a company has no risk. A person could be fired anytime if economy went bad or he/she blew things up. But still, the risk of starting up own business without the guarantee that it's going to work out is the biggest trait. Some people don't have to past through the awful start up phase coz they're just continuing what their families are doing. That's OK, but not many people were born that lucky, huh? Others were doing the start up, but they're provided the safety net from their beloved families. Though it doesn't moderate the risk, it can disregard the existence of risk.
I had a conversation a couple weeks ago with a friend who started up without any safety net. He just jumped in and took all the chance. It's a point of no return : success or die. As far as I know, he's successful. Two thumbs up, my friend!!

While people like me, who'd been trapped in the comfort zone, taking risk seemed too frightening. I've been accustomed to fixed (or sometimes flexible) working hours, nice seat, provided work, didn't care whether the company could go bankrupt or not because of me (of course not, silly..), paycheck on my account every month, employee benefits, hoping (and thinking hard) that I'm going to reach a top position of the company... What a wonderful world! How could I be able to get out of this comfort zone? Or should I just stay in the corporate track and work hard, hoping someday I could be one of those CEOs (yeah right...CEO??)?

Any advice? Or do you want to share the same experience?


Sunday, January 21, 2007

Can a girl and a boy be just best friends??

Some people say it’s impossible for a girl and a boy to be just best friends. The degree of closeness and common things they share would provoke the ‘special feeling’ called love in one of them against the other, or even in both of them to each other.
Once love involved, the meaning of true friendship could be jeopardized.
It doesn’t matter if it ends happily. But if doesn’t and somebody or both get hurt, then the friendship might end as well. It happened to lots of my friends…

So far, I never have any problem of having guys as my best friends. I can even name four or five of them easily. Well, I had spent 4 years in engineering school where only 5% of population are female, then worked in biggest automotive company for 3.5 years… So, it’s naturally easy for me to mix up with guys. As far as I remember, I never had any ‘role incongruities’ problem. Some of my guy best friends are even married now and still maintain their friendship with me (well, though distance set us apart…).
I even have some guy friends whom I named as ‘brothers’, some of them know me so well that they can predict my way of thinking (…scary….). Right, bros?

So, I’m on the opinion that “Yes, a girl and a boy can be true best friends without worrying that love would interfere… “

How bout you ?


Love is about making sacrifices??


I had an argument with my best friend a couple of days ago about love and sacrifice.

My friend shared me a Korean music video about the love story of a pretty girl and a prominous photographer. One day, the girl accidentally dropped some chemical solution to her eyes at the guy’s studio. Her corneas were injured and she became blind. At the end of the story, the photographer gave his own corneas to save the girl’s eyes. Well, how would a photographer live without eyes?

Then a discussion came up… my friend said that love is about making sacrifices.
I disagree with that. In my humble opinion, sacrifice is external driven and involves doing or choosing something that one does not prefer, just for the sake of someone else.
For me, I don’t want anyone who loves me to make any sacrifices for me.
I want him to do things for me just simply because he wants to do them and he’s happy with it.
For me, wanting to do things is internal driven and choosing by preference. It’ll make more sense, right?

Then I watched “The Break Up”, a movie starred Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughnn. In the fight that led to the break up, Jen said the same thing, “I want u to do things because you want to do them, not because I need you to do them..!”. Aha… a nice support for my statement…

What d u think??

- Tania-

Friday, January 19, 2007

The Purposeful Life

Few days ago, I had a discussion with a friend.
It was probably until last year, my life mission is to achieve perfect balance in life : material, intellectual (career & achievements), social (friends), emotional (love & family), and spiritual (vertical relation with the Almighty).
Then, recently I discover more that each of the balancing elements has a higher purpose :
  • Money is for fulfillment
  • Achievement is for satisfaction
  • Friends are for attachment
  • Love is for happiness
  • Spiritual is for salvation - the ultimate purpose of life...
Then I thought, probably each of these elements doesn't need to be perfectly balanced.
Individuals may need different dose of each element in order to have a purposeful life.
Here, I put money in first order coz I feel that it's on the lowest level of the hierarchy, just like the Maslow hierarchy of needs where he put food & shelter in the lowest level.
Each person has different fulfillment level on this, but it doesn't mean that bigger fulfillment is better... we just need the proper dose.
For some people, achievement might be more important than money.
Some said that money comes with achievement.
So, depends on the person, either money or achievement can go first.
People seek the euphoria of satisfaction when they want to achieve something.
The feeling is similar to being on top of the world.
For some people, it's even addictive... the natural amphetamine.
But is it the ultimate purpose of life ?
The answer is no...
How do you feel being on top of the world and having everybody hate you ?
No true friends, just cold enemies, kiss-assers, and those who wait to stab your back..
Friends, relatives are our attachments. It's where we belong. They create a place for us in their heart & their life. It's mutual, not only them for us but also us for them.
Then... Love...Hmm... what should I say about love ? I'm no expert, though I've been in and out of relationships. What I know that it gives the most complicated emotions, worse than the strongest drug. It brings joy but also sadness, affection and hate, give and take. For those who manage their love successfully, the reward is happiness. But no offence, others could kill in the name of love...
Lastly, the vertical relationship with the Almighty : spiritual. Hmm.. not much to say bout this. Still have a loooonggg way to go to achieve this. All I know is that Allah the Almighty is my salvation. The last rope that I'm holding on when everything falls apart.Hmm... that's all I have to say for today. Feel like a philosopher already....
This is just my humble opinion. Do correct me if i'm wrong.
Been thinking a lot lalely